But It's Not Fair

Haverstock School

2012-02-29T13:45:00.000-08:00

Tuesday the 28th of February 2012.

Finally the day of Freedom's visit to Haverstock School in London.
And the launch of our 24/7 Text Line.
Text '88802 4freedom'
The text boards for students to hold up for the photo opportunity were really excellent, thanks to Lucy having a Blue Peter moment.
Pav Amara from the Camden New Journal came along to the school.

We were met by a welcoming committing from year 13 and taken to the library where the Freedom team had set up and the students had displayed the work they had done on Forced marriage.

The students I met were engaging and inspiring.
Miss Maasdrop arranged our visit and had been working with students on forced marriage and dishonour violence.

Two students did a role play from chapter 16 and 17 of But It's Not Fair and seeing the acting out of the scenes bought the characters Vinny and Abby to life. I felt really emotional seeing the scene of Abby with Vinny talking in the park.
You could hear a pin drop whilst the students listened attentively to every word that was said.
Then we went into a question and answer session.
I was really impressed with the depth of questions and the really high standard of the students knowledge.
I think many of the questions would have stumped the select committee in the Commons!

Lucy ran a vox box with some students.
I did a book signing which was great fun.
Massively positive feedback from the students who had read the book.
At the end I was so overwhelmed by how positive Haverstock School was, where I had to fight to hold back the tears.

Often we see so much negative press about our young people, but today was the complete opposite.
I really feel confident that if anyone of the students had a friend in trouble or about to be Forced into a Marriage or child abuse, each and everyone of them would be able to save their friend's life.

A number of students shared harrowing stories of how someone they knew who was about to be forced into a marriage.
I know we have a long way to go, but if we have schools like Haverstock, the journey will be an easier one.

Valentines Day

2012-02-14T13:35:00.000-08:00

Valentine’s Day 14th of February.

A Day when romance is in the air, everything is heart and flowers.

A Day when the postman holds the key to happiness.

A Day when the thought of a delivery sets your heart all of a flutter.

A Day when my Mum sends me a Valentines Day card, hearts and flowers, just in case I am forgotten and spend the day crying and refusing to get out of bed.

Weird really but I would be the first to shout 'But it's not Fair' if I didn't get a Valentines, but that really isn't that bad.

Not compared to all those young people that are Forced into marriage and are never allowed to experience the excitement of Valentines Day.

And receiving a Valentines Day card would led to suspicion and fear as parents and family would demand to know who had the right to send their son or daughter a card.

Things most young people take for granted on Valentines day often being a highlight in the calendar is a day when many realise that they will never be allowed to choose their own Love.

(A forced marriage is a marriage conducted without the valid consent of both people, where pressure or abuse is used).

Brookfield House School, London, England. UK.

2012-01-18T10:01:00.000-08:00

Today I went with some of the Freedom team to Brookfield House School, in Waltham Forest. London.

A Special School for Very Special children.

I was privileged to be able to take two lessons the first group were 12-14 year olds.

And the second group were 14-16 year olds.

Along with a group of high trained caring staff, joined in the lesson.

Children with special needs can often be at a higher risk of being forced into marriage.

I introduced 'But it's Not Fair' then everyone said what they felt was 'not fair' in their lives.

One person felt not living in a palace was not fair.

Another said that their football team wasn't top of the league , was not fair.

I said it wasn't fair that spell check did not recognise most of my spelling.

But we all agreed that if someone was forced into marriage against their will, that definitely was not fair!

An inspiring young man read from But its not Fair (BINF)

The students did a brilliant production, some real budding Oscar winners in our mist.

They enacted various roles:

They did the production from a potential forced marriage victim point of view and how their friends could be empowered to help them and save their best friend's life.

the parents view, of thinking it was okay to force their child into marriage.

The role the police could have in helping them and what a member of the Freedom team would do to help.

The students of Brookfield were inspiration to us all.

Real future ambassadors and an honour to meet.

My Big visit to Lea Manor School

2012-01-14T04:56:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, wow!

What a day!

I visited Lea Manor School in Luton Bedfordshire.

The school was like some state of the art high tech learning space.

A group of year 7 students formed the welcoming party.

A large group from Freedom Charity all went to Lea Manor School.

We are made to feel really welcome.

Miss Lenihan the Head teacher was lovely.

I wish she was my Head.

As I was shown the library I was completely overwhelmed to see 'But it's not Fair" on the front table.

The book was in a plastic cover to protect it and it looked like a proper library book!

I was really thrilled.

Everyone was so nice and lovely and talking about Freedom Charity and what work it was doing.

Freedom had a large team of partners from education, and the Police to come along to the school.

A year ten student, a really nice girl, was chosen to read a bit from the book.

Everyone got microphones on with really trendy head gear on.

I suddenly felt really shy and just couldn't talk to the students about my story.
My hands felt all sweaty and suddenly I really didn't want to be in the limelight.
Ms Lenihan but her arm around me and told me not to worry.
I wanted to shout "But its not Fair' I don't want to be scared and all tied up inside. But I didn't want to sound like my naughty little sister Sofia.
All the Freedom team were all so sweet and kind, but I did feel I had let everyone down.
Aneeta said if it wasn't for me Freedom wouldn't have got my story, I did feel a little better.
I made myself a promise not to be such a woss next time.

Aneeta Prem the founder of Freedom Charity and Don Randall the Parton of Freedom Charity spoke to the students about the work of Freedom Charity.

All the students from year 10 at Lea Manor School, were sat in a large auditorium in the school.

They were told about how each student had the power to save their best friends life, if they were being forced into marriage.

Aneeta asked how many students had a Facebook page, and it seemed like every single student was on Facebook. She asked the students of Lea Manor School to be be aware if their friend's profile changed or was taken down it was a potential sign that something could be wrong.

To look out for any kind of abuse that their friend may be facing.

The students could be empowered to make a difference and just because they were young it didn't prevent them for being able to change things and help their friends.

After the assembly, everyone went to the library where there was a mass book signing.

There was a real buzz as the students queued for personal signed copy of But its not Fair.

One of the students told us how this was their first ever copy of a book that they owned.

I know I felt really sad, that how could it be possible that this student had never been brought or given a book that was his before.

One of the students asked for his copy of But It's not Fair to be signed over to his mum as a birthday present, which everyone thought was sweet.

There were lots of photos taken and everyone was so thrilled to have Freedom Charity there.

Happy New Year

2012-01-02T10:36:00.000-08:00

It’s the really odd gap between Christmas and new year where not a lot happens.

Ive been stuck indoors all holiday with that darling sister of mine Sofia.

She’s whined so much that I have had to read her Christmas ‘Beano’ annual to her.

Actually I enjoyed reading Minnie the Minx and it would have been a bit embarrassing if anyone caught me reading such a childish comic book.

Freedom is planning a new mega programme for 2012.

I have been asked for my opinion on the Freedom Charity’s website.

They have also asked me to ask as many of my friends what we would like to see on the site.

I think it’s a bit stuffy and wouldn't really appeal to teenagers like Abby or Sarina or me to look at.

‘Forced Marriage’ effects young people, school, college and university students, so the Freedom Charity site should be aimed at them.

Sofia thinks the site should be very bling, with lots of gold and diamonds flashing, I’m not putting that idea forward.

Other ideas are lots of video’s of young people, like talking heads.

10 different students each saying of a different warning sign and then answers on what you can do to help.

Dealing with Forced Marriage, Dishonor Violence, why we shouldn't use the term Honour Violence or Honor Based Violence, ‘HBV’.

Alex suggested that the Freedom website should have a real graffiti feel to it, I don't agree, but have put that on the list.

Also a section on child brides, and what effect children getting married early has on young people.

A section on who Freedom Charity has helped.

And a follow up on what has happened since they have been helped.

Nearly everyone wanted the site to look really trendy, the Freedom team want the site to be ground breaking, and award winning.

Freedom have asked me to meet the web designing team to give them all the feedback I have gathered.

I am really excited about doing this.

Still got two packs of mince pies in the cupboard, I don't even like them that much.

Mum said we need to think about taking some of the decorations down tomorrow. that’s a really boring job. And Mum insists that everything is put away ultra tidy especially the Christmas lights to stop them getting tangled, so they easy to reuse next year.

No doubt Sofia will shout, “But it’s Not Fair’ when she's asked to help clear up.

2012 is a the start of journey into helping get Sarina back.

Over and out for now.

Almost 3000 cases of Dishonour attacks in UK reported to Police in UK!

2011-12-03T02:55:00.000-08:00

Watching the news this morning and its full of dishonour news.
The BBC News presenter was using our word 'Dishonour' our word, there is no HONOUR in acid attacks, abduction, mutilations, beatings and in some cases, murder.
3000 people have reported case of dishonour to the police in the UK!!!!!
Look at what happened to Abby, and Sarina in my book But it's not Fair 'binf'

I think the real number is much higher. A lot of people never tell the police, they suffer in silence. They don't have a best friend to tell, they don't pick up the phone and ask for help.
We have to do something NOW to stop it.
Freedom Charity has the first ever 24/7 helpline 0845 607 0133
For anyone that is in trouble or things that a friend is in danger can pick up the phone and call the Freedom and they will help them.
Just by talking to someone, just knowing you don't have to suffer in silence, just knowing you have the freedom to prevent forced marriage and DISHONOUR , not honour based violence!

But it's not Fair

2011-11-18T14:55:00.000-08:00

I went to see Lord Toby Harris chair of trustees for Freedom Charity at the House of Lords.
I got to meet the Freedom team too.
Everyone is trying to figure out how we get young people to find out about the book But it's not Fair, BINF.
I told them that Sarina always used to text and if she could text someone at Freedom rather than call it would have been easier for her.
Freedom have already got a 24/7 helpline, but a 24/7 text line would be good too.
Sarina's mum and dad probably couldn't understand how to use check texts so Sarina would have been safe.
Freedom want an easy number so people can remember it more easily.

2011-11-04T16:51:00.000-07:00

I went with the Freedom Charity girls today to visit some teachers. I was the guest speakers talking about Forced Marriage.

I told the teachers about Abby and Sarina.

I gave out copies of the book But it's Not Fair, BINF.

All the teachers loved the pictures that Kati had drawn of Sofia and me.

The teachers are going to use BINF to give to students in schools, so they can talk about Forced Marriage.

Sofia was so excited, she loved being in the lime light, I was quite embarrassed with all the attention.

Sofia and Vinny

2011-11-04T08:03:00.000-07:00

Sofia and Vinny, this is a picture of us in But its not Fair BINF

Hi It's me, Vinny.

It seems odd after all this time writing a blog, but I thought I better tell you what's been happening.

My story...

Well the story of my friend Sarina and Abby. Both victims of forced marriage

Their story of honour violence, but I think it should be dishonour violence!

Has been made into a book, I'm not joking a real life book.

The name of the book is 'But It's not Fair'

'BINF'

Sofia my seriously annoying brat sister has bits of input all over it.

Even the title of the book, is named after her favourite saying!

I hope you will follow my life post BINF.

But it's not fair BNIF is available now to buy from Amazon Waterstones and WH Smiths and the Freedom Charity's website

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/offer-listing/0956975100/ref=sr_1_1_olp?ie=UTF8&qid=1321656621&sr=8-1&condition=new

It's Me Vinny, my story has just been turned into a book BINF 'But it's not Fair'

2011-11-03T14:20:00.000-07:00